Once, walking along an East London street on a November morning, I shook out the last bits of tobacco from its pouch, and rolled an anemic cigarette. I turned to Dan, the smoker of my two companions, and my bleary, hungover, upturned eyebrows asked him if he wanted to split it with me. He shook his head, which meant that we were really hung over. I felt a bit chastised for wanting to smoke, and bent against the wind to light it, saying, "This is either going to go really badly or really well." Dan chuckled that he understood, and I felt at least a bit less disgusting and totally alone. This post is going to be like that. Pardon my thinking outloud.
To swim, I need my tri shorts and bike jersey on under my wetsuit. I need a swim cap under my goggles and then a swim cap over those more to protect against my superstition that the goggles will get knocked off in the scramble of the swim start than to actually protect against that happening. I become a really nervous version of myself before sports happen. The top cap will be provided when I check in on Friday by the race people, so I have the right color for my wave. I just need to bring the bottom cap. Maybe I will wear the cap from Wildflower, as a talisman that I Can Do This. No, that is crazy. I have worn the black cap all season. I will wear the black cap.
I need to lube my wrists, NECK, and ankles with Body Glide to protect against chaffing. I prefer to spray PAM on my wrists and ankles to get the wet suit on and off more easily. I heard once that this is bad for the wet suit, and I am borrowing the wet suit, so I will feel bad when I do this, but I will do this anyway.
So for swimming I need:
-tri shorts
-bike jersey
-swim cap x2
-goggles
-Body Glide
-PAM cooking spray
-ah, and I will have to have my timing chip on my ankle already.
When I transition from swimming to biking, I will need to have my towel, laying under my bike on the rack. I need to lay things out in the order I will need them. I will have begun stripping off my wet suit upon exiting the water and running to my transition area. I will get that off. I will already be in my biking clothes. I will sit down on the ground, and rub my feet on the towel to dry them. I'll put Body Glide on my arches, across the tops of my toes, and on the back of my ankle, along my Achilles. I will wonder if this will still be present at all by the time I am running, when I really need it. I will need a second tube of Body Glide in the Bike-to-Run transition area (note for further down). I will rub some Body Glide on my arm pits which are nowhere near rubbed raw at all, but which I am superstitiously worried about, never having attempted this much effort in one day. My socks are in my bike shoes, I put on my shoes, I put on my shoes. I think I should spray more sunblock on myself, but I think they have more on the course, and I will skip it. I stand up. My helmet is resting on my aero bars on the bike hanging from the rack. In the helmet, on top of a pile, is my bike cap. I put it on, backwards, tucking my hair in the back; I turn the brim of the hat up. I shove on my sunglasses. I pull on my bike gloves, which I have made sure are ready to go on - the fingers are not bunched in their holes. I put the helmet on, adjusting the back around the brim of the bike cap, and pulling the front down low on my forehead. I tug down my jersey, I pull my bike off the rack, I run to the mounting line. I get on my bike, I bike out of Guerneville.
WAIT.
Shit.
Fuck.
Water bottles. Food.
On my bike I have four water bottles - one an hour, a low average of 15 miles an hour. This should get me to Mile 60, and Special Needs is at Mile 57. The first and second water bottles are Food Drink - Sustained Energy, no flavoring. The third bottle is Gatorade, probably Fruit Punch. I'm basic. The fourth bottle should be Gatorade, but I have been advised to make it straight water, to douse myself with when the temperature gets to 95 or so. I will most likely throw this and any other empty, non-nutrition bottles away in the course of the day, in favor of bottles full of water handed out along the course. There should be two or three aid stations before Special Needs. I briefly (now, not on race day) think about taking fewer bottles. I decide, now, that this is not worth the possible panic this will give me on race day. I have already had anxiety dreams where I forget to bring ANY bottles to the race. I have two PowerBars, each cut in half, that I shove in my jersey. I will eat these during the second and fourth hours. Part of me is scared that I should take more food, even though, if anything, this is more than I have ever needed. There are Clif Bars at the aid stations. I decide not to carry more food than I am used to.
Now I ride out of Guerneville.
For the bike ride I need:
-towel x2 - for feet and just in case
-Body Glide
-socks
-bike shoes
-bike cap
-sunglasses
-bike gloves
-helmet
-sunblock?
-Water Bottles x4 - 2 Food, 1 or 2 Gatorade, maybe 1 water
-two PowerBars - a Chocolate Brownie and a Honey Nut
-Survival Kit - spare tube, CO2 cracker, CO2 cartons (shit! I need to buy more!), patch kit, dollar bill, tire irons - should I carry an extra spare tube?? I am so paranoid!!!
At Special Needs, I will have a spare tube and that one Allen wrench - my water bottle cage always gets loose, and I might need to tighten it a bit. I will have two empty water bottles - they will each have Sustained Energy powder in them. I will have two store-bought bottles of water that I will have cracked the seal on - I will dump water in the Food bottles now, and give them a shake, but save most of the shaking for out on the course. I will have two more bottles - maybe a Gatorade and a water. I will have one more store bottle of water, in case I want to dump the Gatorade and just have water, if it is very hot and artificial & sweet foods are cloying to me. I should have spray sunblock in this bag, probably. This is probably a better place for it than at Swim-to-Bike. I will have two more PowerBars that I won't be able to cut in half - they will probably melt as it is, even in their wrappers.
To pack my special needs bag, I need:
-water bottles x4 - two with only Powder, 1 or 2 with premade Gatorade, maybe 1 just water. Wait, go with one just water. Will need for dousing, it is 1 pm or later and very hot.
-3 store bought bottles of water. Is that right? I don't want to read back. Sure, three.
-spare inner tube, maybe a spare tire. Oh, spare CO2 in case I have used it all. Allen wrench.
-two Powerbars - chocolate brownie & Honey Nut
-spray-on Sunblock
-my capitalization is going tits up.
For bike to run....oh I am feeling tired just thinking through it all. I want to change my jersey, I do not like running in this jersey. Stop. Lay it out in order.
I will have a towel on the ground, underneath where I will rack my bike. I will use the colorful squiggly beach towel, so I recognize my spot quickly. I will rack my bike, toss my helmet off, rip off my gloves. I will rip of my jersey and try not to mind that I am losing time. It's already been nine or more hours. What's 30 seconds? I pull on the new jersey. I sit down. I take off my bike shoes. If I think I need more Body Glide, I will roll down my socks and put it on. I take my watch out of my left running shoe and put it on my wrist. I slip on my running shoes WHICH ARE UNTIED AND LOOSE, ready to lace and tighten!!! I quickly apply Body Glide to my armpits and under arms. I start heading to the RUN OUT, and I turn my bike cap around so the brim is in front. I forgot my bandana. I have a bandana, I tie it around my neck. When I get to the first aid station I will soak this with water, maybe pack it with ice. I forgot my food. I have four GU's (flavor = Just Plain) that were on the towel - they go in the pockets of my run jersey, but it is cumbersome to put on if they are already in it. I don't need a water bottle, because there are aid stations every mile. Hm. I will take a water bottle. I will chuck it if I don't need it.
To run I need:
-run jersey
-running shoes
-watch
-Body Glide
-1 GU per hour - 4 - is this optimistic? I think its okay...there is food on the course...
-water bottle (take from bike)
-Head Lamp - for when it is dark on the course. I won't pick this up til the 2nd or 3rd (please 3rd not second, please never maybe!) loop through transition, but it needs to be in the bag.
-spray on sunblock
Is this it?
I should go away from this for a day. Read tomorrow. See if I forgot anything.
Pheeeeee-eeeewwwwwwww.....ffffffffffffff (deflation sound).
Friday, July 24, 2009
Where Dd Me Go?
See what happens when you make a promise to yourself to post everyday? Life explodes.
We've been tapering, whch - sigh. Ths s a good tme to say that the "i" key on my laptop s n functonal revolt. I can make t work, but It's very HARD.
We've been taperng, whch means somethng very dfferent leadng up to an - oh how rIdIculous thIs Is - Ironman than a half Iron. Before Wildflower we were barely movng, and felt fat, useless and sleepy. Maybe a bt cranky. Our training schedule snce we've entered taper - two weeks ago - has ehm...I wouldn't call ths a taper. We stll are supposed to be workng out two times a day, more often than not - say a 45 mn run and an hour swm. We stll bike for 2 hours on Wednesdays. But we must be doing less, my body s achy in the way t gets now f I haven't moved for a three days...and the funky moods are palpable.
I've been gettng reinvolved very intensely wth SFSU - specfcally the Theater Arts Department - my alma mater and undergraduate department. The CA budget crisis has become really dsastrous for the CSU, whch has been n slow declne - in terms of budgets and how faculty and admnstraton are meetng the challenge of reduced fundng - for as long as I've known it, since 2002. Most recently, ts been realzed that not only are thngs beng slashed drastcally - 30% fee increases for students at the same tme that 1,200 sectons are beng cut from the fall semester, and mandatory 2 day/month furloughs are gong nto place for staff; lecturers are next n lne at the choppng block n those departments whch they have not already dsappeared - the pcture s not gong to reverse or even much mprove any tme soon. I got wnd of how bad ts gotten and thought that many years of frustrated hypothetcals and ideas I ddn't thnk could get heard to be tred were maybe fndng ther moment. Two of my frends and I spent a week craftng an open letter to the faculty, I spent many hours gettng to know and talkng wth one of the most actve current students, and went sent t off. I was staggered as I watch ths effort throw itself to the top of my pile of priorties, supplantng Ironman n the homestretch. My traning dropped off - at one pont I went Sunday through Tuesday wth only a 45 mnute run - and everytme a team emal came n, or a bt of plannng for the trp up north needed consderng, I would realze wth a shock how much there stll s to do, and how much I had relegated the thought of all of t to the back burner. The Vineman anxety dreams kcked in almost on the eve of sendng out the letter. Now we're at the foundng an Alumni Associaton stage. I hit a wall yesterday. I found some new limts to how much I can take on. Full tme job, near full tme training, part time alumni network foundng and department restructurng correspondence, etc etc. Spent a large part of yesterday cryng and askng friends to help me, or just lsten. Also I forgot when to break up large blocks of text nto smaller paragraphs.
There were some smaller, more contained topcs I've wanted to wrte about lately, so I thnk I'll go grab a beer, sit down in front of the Tour on tv, plug in an external keyboard, and start a new post.
We've been tapering, whch - sigh. Ths s a good tme to say that the "i" key on my laptop s n functonal revolt. I can make t work, but It's very HARD.
We've been taperng, whch means somethng very dfferent leadng up to an - oh how rIdIculous thIs Is - Ironman than a half Iron. Before Wildflower we were barely movng, and felt fat, useless and sleepy. Maybe a bt cranky. Our training schedule snce we've entered taper - two weeks ago - has ehm...I wouldn't call ths a taper. We stll are supposed to be workng out two times a day, more often than not - say a 45 mn run and an hour swm. We stll bike for 2 hours on Wednesdays. But we must be doing less, my body s achy in the way t gets now f I haven't moved for a three days...and the funky moods are palpable.
I've been gettng reinvolved very intensely wth SFSU - specfcally the Theater Arts Department - my alma mater and undergraduate department. The CA budget crisis has become really dsastrous for the CSU, whch has been n slow declne - in terms of budgets and how faculty and admnstraton are meetng the challenge of reduced fundng - for as long as I've known it, since 2002. Most recently, ts been realzed that not only are thngs beng slashed drastcally - 30% fee increases for students at the same tme that 1,200 sectons are beng cut from the fall semester, and mandatory 2 day/month furloughs are gong nto place for staff; lecturers are next n lne at the choppng block n those departments whch they have not already dsappeared - the pcture s not gong to reverse or even much mprove any tme soon. I got wnd of how bad ts gotten and thought that many years of frustrated hypothetcals and ideas I ddn't thnk could get heard to be tred were maybe fndng ther moment. Two of my frends and I spent a week craftng an open letter to the faculty, I spent many hours gettng to know and talkng wth one of the most actve current students, and went sent t off. I was staggered as I watch ths effort throw itself to the top of my pile of priorties, supplantng Ironman n the homestretch. My traning dropped off - at one pont I went Sunday through Tuesday wth only a 45 mnute run - and everytme a team emal came n, or a bt of plannng for the trp up north needed consderng, I would realze wth a shock how much there stll s to do, and how much I had relegated the thought of all of t to the back burner. The Vineman anxety dreams kcked in almost on the eve of sendng out the letter. Now we're at the foundng an Alumni Associaton stage. I hit a wall yesterday. I found some new limts to how much I can take on. Full tme job, near full tme training, part time alumni network foundng and department restructurng correspondence, etc etc. Spent a large part of yesterday cryng and askng friends to help me, or just lsten. Also I forgot when to break up large blocks of text nto smaller paragraphs.
There were some smaller, more contained topcs I've wanted to wrte about lately, so I thnk I'll go grab a beer, sit down in front of the Tour on tv, plug in an external keyboard, and start a new post.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
FUCK
I'm at work and don't really have time to say anything except: the Vineman people just emailed all participants to say the Race program is online.
I clicked, and while waiting for it to load discovered I feel very much like I'm going to throw up. This just became real.
I clicked, and while waiting for it to load discovered I feel very much like I'm going to throw up. This just became real.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Money Party!
I had my fundraiser party (a.k.a. Major Source of Stress) last Saturday, and it went almost as well as I'd imagined and hoped. Which doesn't mean it didn't go really well, just that I always imagine astronomic possibilities for any endeavor I undertake. As a delightful internet list, reasons the party went well:
-raised $800 dollars ($798 to be exact). As a portion of my total, doesn't sound huge, but it got me to within $400 of the $6500 mark. Wonderful!
-all my great friends pitched in, and it was fun: Colin got 250 bottles of beer donated (!!!); Dave and Marly booked comics and hosted & performed, respectively; Lee DJ'd; Tina, Sam, Trevor & Mike let me use their lovely backyard; Rizzi leant me a PA system; Keith brought some mic's and Bella the Dog to wander around; Charlyne and Mookie performed; Raj Desai performed, who I would like to call my friend but am still a little on the creep-stranger side for that; a few others helped just to get things set up last minute, especially Mike, Josie & Delia; and Justin really helped with picking up chairs and tables & swooping into BevMo to rescue me from my keg indecision (ANCHOR STEAM).
-people's 'tudes were swell, and getting them to toss donations in was relatively painless. I was really grateful for this.
The atmosphere was as cozy, familiar and specific, which is what I had wanted - I wanted people to get some genuine fun in return for their 10 bucks, and a community-based night as unique to our Angeleno microcosm as it gets.
The fundraising meta-lesson learned was: low overhead, fearlessly asking for volunteer help, negligible ticket price, keeping people happy. Everything I need to know about throwing fundraiser parties I learned from throwing house parties in college. DIY: Achieved.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
WIP
Just got home from swimming and then bar with teammates, and I'm t i r e d. I'll start this post for daily posting technicality's sake, and then zzz-time.
Eastbound & Down loves picking on tri, and it's right on in a way that makes me feel horrible. Searing, missile-guided truth-sting. At about 1'45" into this trailer is the joke from the first episode that I can't rattle out of my head, and which makes me run for the thesaurus almost every time I write about tri now. A weeny, suburban, shit-grinning guy who thinks he's nice and got it sorted out says he does triathlons, and lays out the news waiting for the awed reaction he usually gets. Reaction: "I play real sports, I'm not trying to be the best at exercising."
More later....
Eastbound & Down loves picking on tri, and it's right on in a way that makes me feel horrible. Searing, missile-guided truth-sting. At about 1'45" into this trailer is the joke from the first episode that I can't rattle out of my head, and which makes me run for the thesaurus almost every time I write about tri now. A weeny, suburban, shit-grinning guy who thinks he's nice and got it sorted out says he does triathlons, and lays out the news waiting for the awed reaction he usually gets. Reaction: "I play real sports, I'm not trying to be the best at exercising."
More later....
Picture Feeling
Okay. Blogger won't let me toss a third photo onto the last post, forcing me to create a whole new post for one picture, which is...I'll say TRIPLY embarrassing as its just a big shot of my grinning mug on a bike.
Last Saturday on the century my teammate Floyd rode up behind me, whipped out his camera and grabbed this shot. He did it quickly enough I didn't have time to process more than "Camera equals smile," and I like it! I look happy, and I feel proud, remembering at the time - mile 15 of 100 - how well I felt the ride was going, how much progress I felt I've made.
One of my friends, Joe, I met while he was at SFSU on exchange from Britain. In the couple months we hung out, I drove him all around the place - up and down California, Vegas, the entire Bay Area - and he would buy a disposable camera about every week and take some fairly boring photos. Finally, being overly opinionated and far too forthright, I told him he was taking pictures of nothing he would remember, or nothing special enough to be memorable. He looked at me and told me one of the best things I've ever heard (as well as something that ages his comment at just before the digital watershed). He told me that he was taking a picture of what he was seeing at the moment that he was FEELING something he wanted to remember feeling, and that the vista he was capturing would basically just be a psychological mnemonic - that when he remembers trips, he naturally remembers the highlights, but then gets out these unremarkable shots and has memories flood in of the minutia that really made up the texture of an experience. Needless to say, beyond the fact that I'm proud of...well, LOOKING like a triathlete, the bigger importance of this photo for me is just that - it got sealed with everything I was feeling when the shutter closed. Here it is.
Last Saturday on the century my teammate Floyd rode up behind me, whipped out his camera and grabbed this shot. He did it quickly enough I didn't have time to process more than "Camera equals smile," and I like it! I look happy, and I feel proud, remembering at the time - mile 15 of 100 - how well I felt the ride was going, how much progress I felt I've made.
One of my friends, Joe, I met while he was at SFSU on exchange from Britain. In the couple months we hung out, I drove him all around the place - up and down California, Vegas, the entire Bay Area - and he would buy a disposable camera about every week and take some fairly boring photos. Finally, being overly opinionated and far too forthright, I told him he was taking pictures of nothing he would remember, or nothing special enough to be memorable. He looked at me and told me one of the best things I've ever heard (as well as something that ages his comment at just before the digital watershed). He told me that he was taking a picture of what he was seeing at the moment that he was FEELING something he wanted to remember feeling, and that the vista he was capturing would basically just be a psychological mnemonic - that when he remembers trips, he naturally remembers the highlights, but then gets out these unremarkable shots and has memories flood in of the minutia that really made up the texture of an experience. Needless to say, beyond the fact that I'm proud of...well, LOOKING like a triathlete, the bigger importance of this photo for me is just that - it got sealed with everything I was feeling when the shutter closed. Here it is.
Illustration Post Counts Double
Vowing to post every day = best way to ensure you just pass the heck out two nights in a row. Last night I got in from my run at 10:12 pm and was asleep by 10:20 - and then I sprang up, chipper and literary, five minutes ago! Hello morning!
Let's just do a couple pictures. Three. Three pictures.
One of two chaffed-raw armpits after my 22 mile run on Sunday. Four days later they are healing well, but I have to run like a chicken and sleep with my sheets tucked right up in there. I BodyGlide 24 hours a day.
Dirt tan after the 22 miler. A good part was trail, I'm not just a filth magnet.
Let's just do a couple pictures. Three. Three pictures.
One of two chaffed-raw armpits after my 22 mile run on Sunday. Four days later they are healing well, but I have to run like a chicken and sleep with my sheets tucked right up in there. I BodyGlide 24 hours a day.
Dirt tan after the 22 miler. A good part was trail, I'm not just a filth magnet.
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