Pool Grumposaur, or, Why I Hate LA Fitness

I went swimming this morning. I was supposed to go last night, but late afternoon nap + gym changing their hours to close earlier, leaving me 30 minutes to swim + superfluity of fake boob girls and geriatric dudes just bobbing along in every lane = swim in the a.m.

Not surprisingly after yesterday's run, I was tired. I don't know if swimming yesterday would have been easier or impossible, but today's mile and a half swim was a plodder. I ended up clocking 25 minutes for the straight mile, but uh......I'm not super impressed with that at all.

What I really want to talk about is gym pool ethics. More specifically, who shouldn't be allowed to use the pool. More specifically, can I make people stop using the pool? Or ask them to adjust the way they use it? When I say this, I am talking right at the following:

1. Aforementioned Fake Boob Bobbers. Have you seen this? They like....walk up and down the pool, never getting their hair nor faces wet. They don't always have fake boobs. Sometimes just big ones. Most critically/mysteriously: I've done some pretty self delusional "exercising" before, but...sigh. It hurts to even repeat it. Pool walking? This has to be the most alimony-supported workout I've ever heard of.

2. Aforementioned Geriatrics. Sorry, world. This makes me too sad / angry to talk about more. They do, however, sometimes put their faces in. One rung above fake boobs.

3. Sprint Guys. These are dudes in board shorts who get in, usually with a buddy taking the lane next to them, and do one lane sprints, then rest for 30 seconds to a minute, then sprint again. They usually do 10 to 20 laps total over 15 ridiculous minutes and then get out. They almost always go in the hot tub after. Please, please just stick to 5-a-side hoops.

4. No Eye Contact People. They are usually slowish but not painfully so, and they won't let my line of sight cross with theirs so that I can ask them if we can do circular swim and fit three people in a lane instead of them and their slow lane partner taking up the whole lane. This is starting to get technical.

The point is I'm used to all of the above types. What I've never seen before today was two kids - maybe 9 and 11 - and their poolside Dad, coaching them for over an hour. Taking up a whole lane (a THIRD of the stupidly small pool) when they were doing the same 25 yard drills and could have gone one in the front of the other while four of us stood around the pool waiting to get in.
Although....they did give me a lot of speculating material while I swam. Their grandpa was perched on a chair near where their Dad paced, and stayed completely silent the entire time. The kids were pretty good, but not so good they shouldn't have been on a team; they didn't seem particulary resentful, but they mumbled to themselves and each other every time they stopped at the end of the lane. There was a slight Slavic feeling to the whole thing. Sometimes they'd be swimming beside me, and I was usually not able to keep up. Tired! Achy! Lithe little swim people!

Swim report FIN.