Hella hella hella nervous, nervous, nervous

If my heart has a mouth and can vomit from it, that is what woke me up this morning. My heart puking. Usually when something momentous is going to happen, you wake up, wonder why you are in a hotel room, lie there staring at the ceiling while the color of the day slowly bleeds in, and you remember you are supposed to be nervous / excited. That's not what happened today. I think the "Oh shit Ironman is tomorrow" thought is what actually made my eyeballs flip open in a way that says You're never going to sleep again, buddy. I have a few things to do today, and a brain that is increasingly wanting to go Frantic, so here I go to think outloud:

8:30 am
-when I said I would get up. When Mom & Dad will call. Maybe should eat breakfast.
9 am - 11 am
-need to go to the store: cereal and soymilk, bananas and PB&J makings for tomorrow morning.
-need to get my bike back from Eurie's room, deflate the tire I practiced inflating with CO2, reinflate with floor stand.
11 am
-pack bike-to-run transition bag. will be dropping off at Transition Area this afternoon, and will not see until tomorrow. This makes me so nervous. Maybe I will take a picture of its contents to prove to myself, later, that I didn't forget anything.
11:30 am
-Brunchy/Lunchy at Hotel with Team and Family - coaches gonna talk to us.
12:30 pm
-maybe do that bike stuff here
1:30 - 3:30 pm
-meet Team in lobby to drive to high school for Official Pre-Race Meeting & Course Explanation
-Expo and Race Registration with Team; drop off run stuff at Transition
3:30 - 4:30 pm
-drive the bike course with my parents.
5:30 pm
-load bike into transport truck, not to be seen until I pull it off the truck, riverside, at 5 am. This also makes me nervous, but less so. Oh! I need to re-set the clock on my cyclometer.
-LA Team Pasta Dinner
6:30 pm
-Last talk from the Coaches, and then we head to bed. If last night is anything to go by, Rizzi and I will be overwhelmingly nervous, and attempt sleep many times before it's a go.

I have no more days left to separate me from the thing! Being able to take care of something later has slipped away. Being ready or not ready becomes increasingly moot. Every event we anticipate sneaks up as suddenly as the time we spent waiting seemed to crawl by; everything hypothetical rises as Real one morning, and we find out we want the anticipation back. Once it is here it falls off the agenda, stops being Special, and soon becomes Done. Ugggggggggh how is this going to happen? I rub my eyes, I rub my eyebrows, I rub my forehead, I rub my chin, I massage my worried face with two small hands like a forest animal. My stare goes blank and I stare at the computer screen for two minutes. My thoughts drift to my hungry stomach and my parched throat. Time to start the day, I guess.

p.s. Pardon the Gravy Train reference for the post title. If ever there were a song whose only relevant part was the chorus, its that one.