I Get So Emotional, Baby (Lobby Song)

I'm in the lobby of my hotel in Santa Rosa forcibly listening to '90's rock - songs I know but don't know the names of. In-room internet is $10 day, which is never less surprising for its determined anachronism, every time I travel. Come on, Hilton Wine Country! Cater to the business traveler / destination racer! Our rooms are in buildings named for wines - I'm in Cabernet but have to troop to Burgundy to see Eurie, and I think a couple people are in the outlying Chablis bungalows. The kleenex in the bathroom was shaped into a rose, and the two hand towels were used to make a giant bow tie, which was then placed in the towel rack over the toilet, just at eye height for wizzing gentlemen.

Being here with two days to spare feels like the rightest choice. I slept for 11 hours last night, punctuated by waking up to watch bad tv with Rizzi, my roommate, or being attacked out of sleep by Rizzi, the big brother I never had. We discovered "America's Got Talent," though we didn't stick around for the ending, as we'd stumbled upon stoppage time and then penalty kicks for MLS All Stars vs. Everton.

I ate 13 hours ago and it feels like two days. We went to downtown Santa Rosa, which has a Wednesday night Farmer's Market that closes a few blocks, and it was filthy with all-alterna-kids of every stripe, and I remembered that Santa Rosa was the last jewel in the Bay Area all-ages crown that I was never able to get...two hours from San Jose, it was too far to win parental permission. We asked some cops where we should eat, said we wanted pasta maybe, and they recommended a place called Checkers. I was concerned. Concerns were justified by late '80's-era giant paint splatter canvases, and disparity between fine table settings and generally low menu price point. In the end, food was fine, and I had a beer to relax even though it brought some color back to my urine

- - important interruption: "Kiss from a Rose" just came on, and I wish I could describe this guy that just walked into the lobby and know that you're actually seeing what I'm describing - -

We were supposed to swim at 9 am today, but enough people had trouble getting up in time that we've been given permission to sleep in, and meet at 11 to do bike check - make sure everything is happy, mechanically. We'll go down to the river to swim at 2. I can't wait for the river - my body feels creaky and extra. There is some balance being struck by the anxiety that keeps me a bit muted and the gnawing energy of my body that will be used in the extreme in two days but is being kept dormant now. I find myself daydreaming of the specific feelings of different strokes, imagining the feeling of my arm extending from the shoulder and drawing down across my body while my torso turns; feeling water on my face and hearing underwater then abovewater sounds in each ear. I want to be moving. I might sneak down to the pool.

Today's primary goal is to get my pee back to being clear. That feels really survivor-y! What a small, obscure effort! Also think I'll read some and try and get back to where I can type more clearly. I'm pretty hampered in weird sentence construction right now...nervous and not relaxed.